What I miss about Craig.

I miss it being me, Craig and Ethan. I miss the times when we felt like we could be a family; a weird little quirky family, but a family.

Being able to put Ethan to bed at night, having tubby time, watching telly and walking on the big metal steps - just the 3 of us.

Laughing and singing along to Fastball - The Way, and far, far worse -- Bryan Adams 'Everything I do'.

Craig doing impressions of Mel Gibson in Braveheart "I love ya, always have!"

His chest hair.

The way his eyes lit up when he looked at his son.

The way he'd rub his hands together when he was eating something he really liked.

Being able to call him.

Getting emails from him and howling over them as he'd make me laugh so hard.

Knowing he was there.

Watching him play guitar.

His eyelashes.

The moons on his fingernails.

Spending all day in bed with him. Oh yes!

Watching movies and drinking wine on the couch together.

Having someone to be proud of.

Having someone to be proud of me.

Him reassuring me and hearing him say: "I love you SO much."

Holding his hand.

The way he appreciated each and every meal I made for him.

Roast chicken and baked potatoes.

Lying in the bath and being fed Chef Boyardee ravioli and toast.

Hearing him say: "Mrs PAWWWWS" to the kitty.

Having him in my life.